Today I removed a person from my life that was not good for me. I did it with truth and clarity. I did it after taking a few days to process it and see where I was really coming from. I left no mess I have to clean up later and no room within myself to feel I didn’t say what I needed to. I told no stories. In this process I acknowledged the level of confidence and realness of self it takes to be this way and I began to pity the folks who have never done the same for me or who do it differently. But I think most of that was not because of me but shame a guilt they carried, like when I used to lie. Epiphanies.
The same day that the original incident transpired I happened to have an exchange with a liar. A prolific coward and doer of harm to others. Someone who did me the dirtiest ever. Stutters, gulps, glassy eyes, fear, guilt, anger a pitiful sight. Looking back as I write this, I would never want to be in his place. I would never want to so clearly wear my wrong. And all I asked was, “are you ever going to apologize?” I already knew the answer but I was actually observing him for my own purposes and that’s where a previously unfelt pity began to grow. All his life is a performance, from feigning importance to anyone or anything beyond his tiny boundaries to being nearly middle aged and unable to function in honesty. Not unable but lacking the whatever to choose to act in honesty. And living in the misbelief that deception makes him a winner and strong when the truth is real kings don’t lie because they recognize they are a king (Queen).