It’s hard to leave you alone….”
That’s what I was told today when I said that certain people should have just left me alone. I think it’s supposed to be a compliment but, for me, it’s not an excuse I accept b/c it is always clear, at the beginning, I am not a plaything. I say it, clearly, in 3rd grade English, with all the warnings.
I accept my fault for expecting there was an adult hidden in there when I found them in an environment that always proved to be a low grade playpen with childlike mindsets in the bodies of 18-80 year olds. Like a petri dish of everything I never wanted to be.
I saw past the person before me, even through them…to what they could be. Folks reduce it to “potential”, when it’s more than that. What I see is along the lines of a person + their purpose. I see them full, happy, whole, proud of themselves and positive. But it doesn’t matter what I see, it matters what they see because that’s what will make them accountable and responsible.
I’ve helped folks get closer to what I saw in them and they are stronger, more independent and more realized people who make many decisions differently because they now “see” more for themselves. I helped them “see” but they did the work.
Exceptions to the rule are rare. And because I am one (not my assessment but that of many others) doesn’t mean I’ll ever find another. Maybe, but not anywhere I’ve been previously. I am called to new adventures, people, places and things!
Back to the original statement. I don’t play with people so they should not play with me, regardless of the temptation, ego, whatever the bullshit. Get therapy, not me. The rule is simple. People know when they are not enough in relationships, just like I know how much I truly am even while I’m in-process. Own it, adult it, face it and don’t waste what neither you nor I can replace and is invaluable. My time. And while I cannot make someone see what I see in them, I can most definitely help them see why I am not their plaything and that the intentional mishandling of me comes with consequences.
This weekend, I reminded someone that while I am big love, there is a tucked away side to me that if I play, people are not going to like the game and they will also never win. I embrace and treasure that side but have to tame it oftentimes because, it knows how valuable I am and will protect me with everything – until it is sated.
The good thing is this side of me will work on behalf of a very chosen few as well. Very few. Their response was absolute, assured belief in what I was saying…