We are not exactly alike, and we love it. He is a total “whore” and I am not and we love asking each other questions about the difference. Super detailed, safe, never judging, completely open and honest. The way it should be. It’s not age, I just think I’ve finally met another real human, the strong kind. Through him I can experience things I would never do on my own, and through me it’s a depth he can match safely without someone calling him weak. This is me meeting me. Someone so honest and comfortable in themselves that they just are who they are. This is a little scary because this intro sounds so similar to others, but what I’m not writing is what is known to me and what makes this completely different and real. Ashe.
I’ve decided, for myself, I have no secrets, no shame, no guilt – I just have amazingly real stories that can be gifted to anyone in need of hearing them – and he feels the same way. I’m at a point where nothing can be held over me and even the “dark” parts of my personality will remain and be exercised as they need to be. He understands and finds it funny because with honesty, he sees no reason for those parts to come out.
Honesty is respect. Once disrespected, you get something very different. That goes for both of us.
Insecurities abound, in our honesty. We don’t always agree and it’s perfectly fine because we take the time to talk it all through and get to the juicy parts other people shutter at hearing or cower from. We don’t cower. Vulnerability. Realness. We share stories. Real ones. Not lies or those of others. His stories. My stories. Real stories.
He is not superficial but he admittedly lives a life where immediate needs rule and distract him. I am depth – the personification of it. He says he loves how I think and has never experienced the level of love and caring and connection he sees I bring to the table, but he understands how most are not equipped for it. He even tells me when he thinks I’m thinking incorrectly. (Thank you Universe! Finally! This!) He loves money and I love him for saying it with such positivity. Self ownership. Once upon a time, one of life’s experiments on me, spoke of himself as greedy instead of a lover of money – upon reflection everything about him was so negative and heavy. A clear indication of what he came from and what he brought to the table and never really wanted to elevate from. This one’s honesty is refreshing. He. Is. A. Man. and he is my friend.
This isn’t energy draining opportunism. One person taking the goodness of another because they don’t possess it naturally. Like consuming the other, taking notes and then exercising those notes with others, pretending to be something they are not. Disordered and sociopathic.
This is the lightness of pure honesty. I’m sure there are levels we haven’t gotten to and maybe we will be gifted the challenge and opportunity to test those limits as well, but the foundation is there. And for that I am thankful.
He’s a swiper. I am not and never will be but he gives me the gift of understanding why he is and what it means for him, which takes time and courage and is a show of consideration, caring, respect and love. For this he has gained my respect. He has shown me so clearly, the difference between those that are and those that are attempting to be…