I have a very large space in my heart, now cleared and cleaned, once occupied by these kinds of people. I’ve met and cared deeply for many of them, from all walks of life. It’s either the monotony of them, the sheer plethora and commonality of them or the consistent distaste they leave in my life, but I currently, care not for weak people.
Importantly and for my own reasons I have unique definitions for words, especially when it comes to my experiences. So for context, and easing the visceral reactions of readers to the term “weak people”, I’ll define what a weak person is to me. Once you see, all sorts of medical and slang terms will pop in your mind for them, but categorically, in my life, I consider them weak if they are adults and they’ve had opportunity to improve these things repeatedly, but have chosen not to.
One. These are the people who do not have the personal strength to acknowledge their wrongs. They live in fear of being wrong and because of how they live they are wrong a lot. They age and in their 30’s are rationalizing why they jump from relationship to relationship with stupid things like, “I don’t like feeling like I’m always wrong.” Even though they are. This fear of wrong is a personal platitude that leads them to people who accept them as they are and do not challenge them or expect of them in ways they don’t want to be expected of. This folks, is because they do not challenge themselves. Whether the source is trauma, excuses, laziness or whatever, these people are fakely driven and…
Two. Complacent. Even when they don’t practice little decencies in their lives, like not throwing trash out of their windows, or saying thank you to people for the smallest things. They don’t see learning these things as the portal of larger self-reflection and up leveling of self. They shut off all introspection because they feel wrong. They don’t see wrong as the right place to be, because it truly just means opportunity to get better, incrementally. They rationalize not wanting better for themselves as being OK where they are, when they actually envy others around them who consistently evolve themselves. I stand corrected, they want better more than they want to do better. So much energy goes into the jealousy, bitterness and hate of others instead of, you guess it, self-reflection and self-improvement. The common barrier to this is…
Three. Blaming others for every damn thing. Owning your own shit is the biggest self power move. If everything we do, right or wrong, is because of someone else, what’s the point in having your own life? There are always contributing factors to our choices. And, ultimately its those last two words that create our lives and experiences with ourselves and others, our choices. But when it all goes up in flames, there can’t possibly be any way they contributed to it. It has to be trauma or the considerate choices of the other person that they say they didn’t ask for. Always some excuse society or a parent or a person has pushed upon them when this can only ever be partially true because we don’t share our brains with anyone else. Weak people, as adults, rationalize like a child when being wrong was actually….
Four. Fear. I was physically disciplined as a child. I won’t go into details, but I will say, there was always something in me that just said, “I’m going to say this, do this, believe this, be this and I’ll even try to put a book in my pants when the time comes.” LOL. The punishment was expected and associated with every choice that didn’t align with those around me. For most others I’ve met in life, punishment became fear. Fear of displeasing and perhaps another parent or partner leaving. Fear of being damned or dying at the end of the world. And, it’s only at the writing of this that I now see, I had these fears, but I had something else as well inside of me. Fearlessness sounds too big. Maybe that’s what it is. Maybe it’s a sense of justice. I don’t know. But while fear of others has definitely stopped me, the stoppages decreased the more life I lived. The equation is easy, do more, fear less. Weak people reject this equation, even when they know it works because it requires rejecting comfort within the self. If I had to name a theme for weak people, they always…
Five. Lack accountability. “Then I just won’t say anything.” LOL. To hear these words come from grownups is probably my biggest irk and a sure sign of someone with very weak everything. While they think this is the best conversation shut down, I’m laughing internally at what it looks like to a mature person of quality. Taking accountability goes beyond acknowledging one CAN be wrong (One.) Accountability is doing something about being wrong. And this folks, is a character thing. It’s about the true make up of a person. Who they really are in every area of life. This is something people can feign for a short time to reel you in, but its one of those things that will always make itself known because it is the fabric of a person. It took me committing to the scariest journey of my life to understand the true personal power in accountability and it’s something I cannot unsee or give away ever again. It’s something I want for everybody. But weak people rarely get here because another thing about them….
Six. They are liars. I’ve met two pathological ones for sure but I think they all actually pathologically lie to themselves, keeping themselves in a state of emotional infancy. Swaddled by simple rationale, manipulation and fake power plays they show their weakness for all to see. They believe in the “The Art of War” and false appearances, thinking they are creating some grand scheme, when in reality it is a waste of time. Liars are addicted to the idea of power but are never equipped to actually wield it, which is why they are attracted to nonsensical ideas of false power (and people) that makes it OK not to tell the truth. Only weak people are fascinated with false power. If you have to handle your relationships like war, you are first deluding yourself in your importance and then trying to validate something and smokescreen something that is already false. The catch being, they are never seen because they are surrounded by themselves, which is actually other weak people with all the same qualities to one degree or another. It’s a misery loves company kind of thing. An environment if you will. And yes, it’s hilarious, the daily delusion. But it took me to experience it and escape it, to see the hilarity. Weak people feign a lot of things they wish they really were and they borrow characteristics from more improved people, like a tassel or sequin on their mask, to further deceive themselves and others without doing the real work because weak people are consummate…
Seven. Leeches. Mainly energy and/or emotional leeches. To their credit, some weak people realize that they are empty vessels that fear the effort of really filling themselves up with quality stuff. So, true to a weak person mantra, they mimic the missing qualities of others without actually inculcating them. Granted they may do simple things to improve others perception of them and to make themselves feel improved against their general group, like not throwing trash out of a car window, but all in all the harder stuff they will just mimic because they don’t have the foundation to carry it on for a lifetime. The foundation comes not from running and jumping from harder to easier or from tricking oneself into believing cruelty is right. Foundation comes from facing all the elements that make you weak. And this, leeches do not.
Eight. Easily manipulated. There was no lead-in to this one, but because superficiality plagues them, many weak people are manipulators and do not realize this makes them easy to manipulate. So they are. And they end up used, like they have used other people. There is nothing firm in a weak person, so doubt around what’s good in their lives is easily sowed by the words of others or fresh meat fantasy. They have no loyalty, so the grass always smells greener but generally is not, because they chose it. Weak people, in their constant state of self-deception, don’t realize their pickers are off, so when they happen upon gold, they rightfully wonder how they got it (because it’s not their usual fare), but do not rightfully prize it. Weak people repeat platitudes and game because they are inherently lazy in mind and character. There is something to them, but they don’t have the drive to build the confidence it takes to just be authentically them. Weight loss, new shiny things and people don’t change this because it all begins from within. Even being alone doesn’t work for them, because they think the same weak thoughts over and over again. How boring.
Really big and awful things often have to happen for weak people to get epiphanies. And for some, these things have to happen for us to ACT on the epiphanies we had been carrying.
So I laugh and feel peace having removed weak people from my life and refocus my light. The weak can never escape themselves and they really want to, constantly. Unless they get to the point of owning themselves and I’ve seen many in their 60s, 70s and 80s that just never made it to that point. Confusing distraction for relief, proving too much to others when they should be proving it to themselves. They just don’t get it. Fact is, the best seat in the house is in the crowd of been-there-done-that, looking on while thriving in being wrong and learning life lessons, wondering if they will ever catch on to themselves, like I did.